ITS TOO MUCH WORK FOR THE AMOUNT OF TIME OF DAY BUT OF COURSE ITS MY FAULT I SHOULD HAVE DID THIS STUFF EARLIER BUT I NEVER CAN FIND MYSELF IN A CLEAR MIND MODE TO DO SO. WHY AM I THIS WAY???? ITS 3AM AND I NEED TO FINISH MY EXTRA CREDIT THEN I NEED TO GO TO BED.

these are moments i really wish i was just dead. life would be amazing in heaven then being in this dumb place called earth.

why cant i focus enough for my school work?? ill tell you why its because of all my secrets i keep inside of myself i dont open up or share anything i dont tell anyone anything thats the sad part of my life. i smile and show off the happy part of my life and its killing me its killing me every day because i cant take this anymore. I cant take being silent but to be honest its the only way I know how to be. I am comfortable being this way, being this way make me feel safe, in control. why cant my friends see it in my eyes? why cant they see something is wrong with me?? why do they think I am so damn happy because I am not happy not happy one ity bit. One thing I WILL NOT do is call myself depressed though, I hate that word so much. depression can be fixed i cant be fixed. I will get through my days even though the pain is cut so deep that its too far to fix me now. im broken…permanently.

Filed under Mad Annoying me hate it kill me not happy

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April 13, 2012